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You may hate to date. But, you do it anyway, suffering anxiety and insecurity about how to get it right. Or you may avoid altogether and suffer from loneliness and depression. But there is a simple solution to the dilemma, one you can practice immediately.
Why Us?
Before we met, Judith had dated for nearly thirty years. She knows the ins and outs of all the wrong ways to date.
Jim had been married twice before and was in a number of long term relationships that didn't work out. Why not? -Because he never dated. He just fell in and out of relationships.
Dating all wrong and not at all both lead to fruitless and frustrating conclusions.
But we've been married now for eighteen years, and during that time we've worked with hundreds of couples who struggled just like we did, just like you are about dating. And we've develop a strategy for that guarantees success every time.
That's right. It's guaranteed. And we're passionate about helping you become a smart dater. So you can develop the skills you need to create the relationship you want-all the while enjoying like never before.
How It Works-
The number one reason that feels like such a trial is that you've got your focus in the wrong place. You literally put yourself up to be judged by those you meet and go out with. That leaves you wondering:
Am I attractive enough?
Am I sexy enough?
Am I funny enough?
Fill in the blank in the following phrase "Am I ______enough?" with whatever you worry about. You'll see that it's you that's made such a trial. You've given your dates the job of judge, jury, and hang-man/woman-in charge of determining your value. And what's the proof.
If he asks you out again. You have value. If not, you don't.
If she goes out with you again, you have value. If she doesn't, you don't.
And, to top it all off, you've made yourself powerless.
No More.
If your focus has been on the wrong place -what's the right place? The answer is on what you're feeling and thinking about what it's like to be with your date. That's right. You get to make the decisions for you. You get to determine you value, and whether or not you're having a good time. It's simple and will transform your life.
What to Do
? Take your focus back from worrying about the other person's opinion.
? Focus instead on developing your own self-respect.
? Rely on your own judgment about you and your experience.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself when you're out on a date.
Am I having a good time or am I just going along with what's happening?
Do I trust my own judgments or am I giving my opinions away to the other person?
Am I being treated well or am I being put down, mistreated in some way?
That last question includes:
Does my date treat me with respect?
Does my date act interested in what I have to say?
Does my date ask questions about me and my life?
And finally the bottom line . . .
If your date isn't interested in seeing you again, that's not a judgment against you. It's a success. You've weeded out a non-candidate. Because, after all, why would you want to be with someone who isn't interested in you? When you are a smart dater you wouldn't. Because that would mean you've given your value over to that other person and that's dumb.
Don't be dumb.
Be a smart dater and keep the focus on you and what's right for you. Then every single date will be a success-no matter how it turns out. |
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